W.E.B's Double Consciousness

Double Consciousness, I feel, is something that everyone goes through at some point in time. Although our struggles probably aren’t as strenuous as W.E.B DuBois’s, that does not make them any less a struggle. I can relate to this idea of double consciousness. Having being a lighter black man, I have to play two roles. All of my “black” friends expect me to be proper and intelligent often calling me “white boy” or other insulting names. Although there is nothing wrong with being intelligent, a second grader really just wants to fit in and have friends. However, when I’m with my Caucasian friends, I can feel the awkwardness coming from them. They don’t seem to be too sure what to think of me. They still do strange things like fist bump me every thirty seconds or say bruh and stuff. Growing up, I never really fit in with either group due to these issues. I would have to fight myself as a child. When I’m with my black friends I would try to sound more ignorant and talk with more of a southern accent like I was actually from Atlanta. This often failed and people could see right through it. Then when I would be with my white friends, I don’t have to pretend to be something I am not, but they treat it as if I am just putting on a show. Needless to say, when I finally got comfortable being who I wanted to be, I had to shorten up my friend roster. But this is still an issue that’s plaguing me into adulthood with what I want to be as opposed to what other people want me to do. My mother wants me to be a doctor or something important like that. I have absolutely zero desire to be any sort of doctor. Not trying to put down the field, it’s just not for everyone. I see myself as more of an urban type of kid. I like rap music and doing hoodrat things with my friends. My mother wants me to listen to rock music and stay inside and read books all day. I believe that DuBois’s idea of double consciousness will be relevant as long as people are on this planet. There will always be people judging you and people who want you to go against yourself and be something you don’t want to be. That’s when the problem arises. Someone has to go home unhappy and it’s up to you to allow who that person is.